


Not Entirely Helpful- But Trying To Be

by BSplendens



Series: Dominus Silvarum [4]
Category: Marvel/DC/etc sort of universe
Genre: BDSM, Body Dysphoria, Bondage, Depression, Dom/sub, Established Relationship, Inexperienced Dom, Kink Exploration, Kink Negotiation, Other, Very hurt sub, emotional issues, mentions of suicidal behavior, scene negotiation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-16
Updated: 2016-01-17
Packaged: 2018-05-11 17:33:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5635711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BSplendens/pseuds/BSplendens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>BDSM is kind of a tricky thing to figure out, especially when one of the people involved is in a lot of emotional pain.<br/>Warning: contains a dom who has about 25-30% of an idea what he's doing and therefore messes up. If that bothers you, you will absolutely want to go elsewhere. Nobody is injured, but some grey areas are charged into. So that "very hurt sub" tag, just FYI, isn't due to what happened- Dominus has about all of the issues ever and this didn't cause any of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Just Trying To Help

**Author's Note:**

> These two have a firmly established relationship, they feel safe with each other, and they each know what the other likes. They've discussed trying some aspects of BDSM before, and they've outlined the things that they will NOT be doing, but they haven't quite tried anything along those lines yet.  
> Dominus has some fairly major self-esteem issues. On bad days, comments about his appearance or how disgusting someone finds him to be are... destructive. He ends up stalking around in a cloud of self-hatred, and if he's left alone to brood and be angry, he just ends up in a black puddle of unhappiness. In that state, he tends to lash out at people and try to push everyone away, though it doesn't always mean that he doesn't want someone to help. He just hurts too badly to let anyone come close.  
> Oma would have preferred to discuss this sort of thing beforehand and establish boundaries, but given the situation, he didn't want to risk Dominus getting bogged down in hurt again. His intent here is just to get Dominus to stop kicking him so he can help, not to force any sort of attention that Dominus doesn't want. And things will NOT go in any sort of a sexual direction until he's certain that Dominus is calm enough to negotiate and figure out what they both want.  
> Oma has some empathetic abilities. He can read the emotions of others very easily, and he's established a firm mental link with Dominus, thanks to the latter's psychic communication abilities. Oma can read Dominus' emotions incredibly easily from close up, and he can tell the difference between "I am hurting and pushing everyone away" and "I WANT YOU TO STOP". That, combined with quite a few centuries of experience with hurt people, means that he can often figure out what Dominus needs before anyone else- including Dominus himself.  
> That being said, he still messes up. He's a member of a species created to help others, and he is... not great at not helping people who are in pain. 
> 
> Dominus' profile is here: http://betta132.deviantart.com/art/Dominus-Silvarum-524284277, and I don't yet have a profile for Oma. Just picture a fairly humanoid being, 6-7' tall, generally unthreatening in appearance, and the same nice soft red as a red apple. He's a shapeshifter with no set form aside from "mostly humanoid and red", so he's probably looked about like you're picturing at some point. He's a conjured being intended to help others, a bit like a cross between a backwards genie and a golem, and he's a couple thousand years old. He spent most of that in a dormant state, though, so he's been awake for a total of about 500 years. Dominus is about 300 and has been dealing with the whole zombie thing for a couple of years now. Mentally, Oma is maybe 3-5 years older than Dominus- both are very long-lived species who tend to plateau at a certain level of maturity.

 He can feel Dominus' pain the moment he enters the room. A miniature maelstrom of anger and pain is roiling around their bed, and with every beat of Dominus' heart, the storm of  _hurt_ lashes inwards against him. Only Oma and Dominus are aware of it, of course, and Dominus probably isn't seeing it as a storm, but... that's how Oma prefers to process this sort of emotion. Sometimes he's felt it around so-called villains, surrounding them like a protective hurricane and lashing out against everything around them, but here- here it's an inward-twisting storm, like a demented tornado in a wind tunnel, tearing its center apart and fueling itself in the process. It's undoubtedly causing Dominus a lot of pain, which is part of why it's so strong, and... it's not the most fun for Oma, either.

He needs to make it stop. Determined, Oma marches directly into the center of the storm, flopping down right next to Dominus and trying to snuggle up. Contact and gentle reassurance are usually at least somewhat effective, so he'll just try- 

He's met with a hoof to the stomach. Giving a startled little noise (he's fine, he has no organs, but it's not the most pleasant sensation), Oma grabs onto the bed, then wriggles around and ends up over near Dominus' antlers. "Hey. You stop that! I'm trying to help." he scolds, then twitches back slightly when Dominus directs an absolutely furious glare and a wave of _no_  at him. Like most of Dominus' anger, though, this lashes back at him and cuts into him just as much as it slices into Oma. And Oma can feel that, can feel the new slice as if he's actually watching it slash across what tiny scraps are left of the kirin's self-esteem, and he wants to  _stop_ it. Except that he can't- not quite. He gets kicked or shoved with a set of antlers whenever he tries. He's fine, it doesn't injure him, it just isn't terribly pleasant. And he can't quite reach Dominus when he's being kicked and gored, and that really just isn't acceptable. 

"Dominus. Stop that!" Oma orders, scooting back and meeting the kirin's optics as best as he can manage. "You know what'll happen if you stay like this for too long- you'll be miserable for days. I am not going to let that happen again, do you understand? I am not going to leave you to hurt like this. I don't care how many times you kick me, I'm not going to stop doing this! And- look at me. Look at me, Dominus. I am going to make you feel better if I have to sit on you and-" 

Pausing slightly, Oma considers something for a moment, then slips off of the bed and runs over to the cabinet where he keeps a few things that Dominus likes. A moment later, he's back again, and this time he's holding the end of a long, thick red ribbon- actually a dancer's silk. Staying far back enough that Dominus can't shove him away, he flattens himself out onto his tummy and meets the kirin's eyes, holding the silk where he can see it. "Look at this. I got this after I showed you those BDSM articles,  remember? You seemed like you were pretty interested." he whispers, then sighs, edging just a bit closer. "You're angry, and some of that is being directed at me. Believe me, I can feel it. And I don't think you really want me to go away. I think you're in a lot of pain, and I think you're lashing out. I don't think you genuinely want me to stop. But, if what I'm about to do really upsets you, I want you to tell me. If you genuinely want me to go away, tell me. If not- open up." he orders, reaching out and wrapping one hand around Dominus' lower jaw. 

 

Rage and pain and self-hatred coil in and then whip back out, strong enough to almost physically hurt Oma, and then slap back with just as much force. Dominus snarls and pulls away from Oma, then freezes up, clearly confused by the hand on his jaw. Panting softly, he stares at Oma for a moment, then slowly tries to pull away. There's no  _stop_ written into his swirling storm of emotion, though, just- really just confusion, layered over everything else. He's right about to either buck away or try to throw Oma off, but he- he doesn't. He's fixed on Oma's expression and on how the shade sounds, on that  _tone_ that he's practically never heard before, and the anger recedes slightly at a stab of fascination. What... what is this? 

 

Oma gives Dominus' head a firm little shake, moving closer and kneeling in front of the larger being with his expression as firm as he can manage. "Dominus. Either tell me to stop or open your mouth." he growls, glaring into Dominus' eyes, then hums approvingly when the kirin slowly opens his mouth. "Good. That's it. Good." he whispers, then quickly slips the silk between Dominus' teeth, wrapping it tightly around his partner's bony muzzle. There's no need to worry about if he's going to suffocate Dominus- though the kirin prefers to be able to breathe, mostly for temperature regulation, he doesn't need to and is in absolutely no danger if he can't. 

Once the silk is wrapped, Oma quickly ties it over the bridge of Dominus' snout, then loops it down and between the slightly open jaws, yanking hard until the kirin's jaws are forced shut. 

 

Dominus  _snarls_ at the restriction, though not quite at Oma- at the ribbon, at the restraint, and really just at the fact that he's being dragged out of his puddle of misery and isn't just being left to stew. Hissing angrily, he bucks against Oma's grasp, then twists his head to the side and kicks out with one hoof. He's not entirely sure  _why_ he's so angry, he just- he  _hurts_ and Oma won't leave him alone but he doesn't  _want_ to be alone and someone is tying his jaws  _shut_ and he- he is- 

 

People tend to not realize it, but Oma isn't limited to two arms. He keeps to a humanoid shape most of the time, as it tends to keep people calm, but he's technically a shapeshifter. Most of that is limited to shifting into beings that others find comforting, but- but four arms is no issue. Two hands gather the silk up and  _yank,_ pulling Dominus' head down to his reach, then the other two hands wrap around the bases of the kirin's antlers and force his head down. He's expecting struggling, he is, and he's being very careful to stay aware of Dominus' emotions- but, so far, it's okay. There is a lot of confusion flooding into the kirin's emotional storm, a  _lot_ of confusion, but he still isn't trying to make Oma stop- he's kicking and squirming, but it's the same sort of anger as earlier, it's helpless anger caused by his inner storm whipping out at everyone else. The instant Oma feels any indication that Dominus wants him to stop, he will absolutely stop, but- but this sort of cornered-animal fury is something that Oma is familiar with, and it doesn't mean that he needs to stop. It means that he needs to find a way to get Dominus calmed down, or it'll get worse. And right now, it seems like he might have to tie Dominus up to manage that, so- so he'll just tie his partner up. 

 

Giving a startled little huffing noise as he's flipped onto his back, Dominus freezes up for a second, then growls and tries to bring his hands up and push Oma off. It doesn't work, though- Oma can pin him with two hands, sit on him, and tie the ribbon tighter with his other two hands. The shade isn't very heavy, though, and- and after a bit of struggling, Dominus manages to get Oma bucked off. He's not even sure  _why_ at this point, he almost wants to just surrender and let Oma do whatever he's doing, but he- it's really not in his nature to just surrender, and he's still  _hurting_ and he's so  _angry_ and he just- 

 

Oma immediately gets to his knees and yanks on the ribbon again, then backs up and gets off the bed, pulling with all of his weight against the blood-red silk and trying to drag Dominus with him. When it doesn't work, he slides his hand up and grabs the silks together under Dominus' lower jaw, staring into the kirin's eyes and using the tone that got his attention earlier. "Dominus. I am not going to hurt you, and you are welcome to struggle, but I expect some cooperation. Now- get off that bed, right now. We are going to go over there, you are going to kneel on that rug, and I am going to loop this silk over that hook in the ceiling and use it to tie your arms behind your back. If you have any objections, you need to  _tell me."_

 

No. No objections. None yet. Just- just an incredible amount of confusion. He doesn't understand why but he's- he's actually staring to _like_ this fight, maybe because- it gives him  _something_ to do with his anger instead of just letting it swirl around him, but- but he's  _enjoying_ being _b_ _ound_ and why is he- 

Dominus freezes up, staring into Oma's eyes for a moment, then ever-so-slowly eases himself a bit closer. Very slowly, he sets one hoof on the floor, then the other, then stretches up to his full height and glares down at Oma. He's not fighting any more, not quite, but he's incredibly tense and about to run- 

 

"Good, Dominus... that's good. That's it... come a bit closer. Just a bit further, okay? Just a bit further. Come on..." Oma croons, then instinctively ducks out of the way when Dominus suddenly lunges at him. He doesn't let go of the ribbons, though, and then he braces his feet and- 

Dominus' head is wrenched down and to the side, the kirin is thrown completely off balance, and just a second after Oma braces himself there is a very angry kirin sprawled on the floor in front of him. He immediately takes advantage of that, of course- he leaps forwards and lands on Dominus' back, then stands up, stretches a bit past his normal height (he's pliable), and slips the ribbon over a large hook that he's screwed into the ceiling for pretty much this exact purpose. 

_Still not telling me to stop with anything, just struggling, just angry and hurt and- and he NEEDS someone to calm him down and I can't make that stop unless I make him stop kicking and I can't do that unless I tie him up and since I'm doing this I'm giving him something to be angry about and to fight about and this is okay I think this is good he doesn't want me to stop-_

Oma pins one of Dominus' arms down and pulls the other up behind the kirin's back, looping the ribbon tightly around Dominus' wrist, then loops it firmly into place and grabs the other wrist. And he can  _feel_ this working now, can feel Dominus' emotional storm whipping back at the kirin less because Oma is giving him a target for his anger and that means his anger isn't just whipping back at him- 

 

Dominus skreels angrily as he hits the ground, then shrieks wordlessly up at Oma as his arm is wrenched up behind his back. Tail lashing angrily, he squirms under the shade's weight and tries to flick his head up and stab at Oma, then goes limp and just glares at the floor. Not for long, though, because Oma shifts off of his back and the second he feels the weight let up Dominus tries to lunge and get away- 

But it backfires a bit, because his head is wrenched backwards by the ribbon and he ends up on his knees and then Oma yanks on the ribbon around his wrists and loops it again and he's caught. He's on his knees, his hands are bound behind his back, the ribbon holding his mouth shut is passed through a hook in the ceiling and tied to his hands, and he can't see what Oma is doing. And then a loop settles around his tail and pulls tight and then he can't even whip out with his tail because its middle is now bound to his hands and he can't do anything more than lash it in short flicks and- 

Dominus growls furiously and leaps against the ribbon as best as possible, bucking and squirming and furiously fighting against the ribbon for all of thirty seconds, and then he goes still and quiet and stops struggling. Jaws parting the little bit he can manage, he pants through his bound jaws, then slowly turns to the side as much as possible and looks over his shoulder at Oma. He's gotten a surprising amount of his hurt out, spent a lot of his anger on what couldn't have been more than two minutes of fight, and he... he actually feels a little bit better. 

He's just not sure what he thinks of this whole business.

 

 _It's working-_ "Good, good... that's it, Dominus. That's it. Relax, my beautiful, relax... you're okay. It's okay. Now... I'm just going to run my hands along your lower jaw, like this... see?" Oma coos, slowly trailing both hands along Dominus' lower jaw and just trying to calm him. "Shh... it's okay. Relax, relax... just like that. Good. Good. Just like this. There you go, there... that's it. Now... I'm going to cover your eyes with my hands, just for a minute. Let's see what you think of that." the shade whispers, slowly trailing his hands up and pressing his palms over Dominus' eye sockets. "There. Now, Dominus... I know you probably don't feel much like talking, but can you try to send me some idea of what this feels like? Do you like me covering your eyes, or does it upset you?" 

 

Dominus gives a soft, shivering little noise, then slowly leans into Oma's hands, making a noise best described as a mewl. No. That- that doesn't upset him. Maybe it should, but- but it doesn't. It... it takes away some sensory input, and it lets him focus on- on how the ribbon feels wrapped around him, on how Oma feels pressed against his back... it feels good. He's still very confused by it, though, and he- he sends Oma the best impression of that feeling that he can manage. No fear, no added upset, just- just a lot of- of  _confusion._ And a lot less hurt, because he... because Oma gave him something to  _fight,_ and... not only is he no longer focused on his own upset, he's spent so much of his anger that he's left mostly with just- just a bubbling swamp of negative emotions rather than a storm, and with a  _lot_ of exhaustion. 

 

"You like this? Good. You don't have to figure out why, don't worry... just enjoy. Now... I'm going to take my hands away for a minute, but I've got... I got a nice blindfold. It's thick and soft and the same color as the rest of this, but a different material. I have to get up for a moment, okay? I have to go and get it. I won't leave, though. I'll be right over there. Just a moment..." Oma whispers, slowly backing away and standing up, then sighs when Dominus tries to lean after him. "I know, I know, I'm sorry- just a moment." he coos, quickly darting away, then comes back just a moment later and kneels behind Dominus again. "There, see? I'm back. I'm here." 

 

Much to his own surprise, Dominus can't smother a tiny whimper as Oma pulls away. He doesn't want- doesn't want Oma to leave. He wants the warmth, the comfort, the  _reassurance-_ no matter how confused by this situation he is, he wants Oma back. He just- he's- he wants-  _"Oma-"_

 

"Easy, easy... here you go. I'm here." Oma croons, pressing just a bit closer and plastering himself against Dominus' back. "I'm here. See? I'm here. Now... just going to put the blindfold on you, okay? Let me know if you want it off. I'll take it off." he whispers, very gently wrapping the blindfold over Dominus' eyes and gently securing it in place, then leans in and nuzzles against the base of Dominus' antlers. "Good?" 

Oh, definitely good. He can feel Dominus' emotional storm subsiding, and it's now more of a bubbling pit of sullen pain. Now to just... gently soothe it away. Crooning gently, he nuzzles along the side of Dominus' head, then hums softly and runs a hand down the trembling kirin's front. "Easy, easy... I know you're hurting, and I'm sorry. I'm not going to make it any worse, I promise, and... I'm going to do my best to make you feel better. Especially now that you aren't kicking me in the chest. Now... Dominus, I want you to tell me what I can do to make you feel better. I know you normally don't want to talk to me about that, but I am ordering you to tell me what you need. And, just this once, this is nonnegotiable. You are _going_ to tell me." he orders in the sternest voice possible, then sighs softly when Dominus tries to turn away from him. "Dominus. This is not optional. You-" pausing, he grabs the base of Dominus' antler, pulling the kirin's head around until he can meet the empty sockets that served as eyes. When Dominus is feeling good, a small flame can be seen in each eye socket, but now there is nothing but blackness. "-you are going to tell me what you need."

 

Dominus stares into Oma's eyes for a moment, then slowly just goes still again, his mental voice very, very soft. _"I am **disgusting** , but sometimes you... manage to convince me otherwise. So... if you want to help me... perhaps attempt that?"  _he whispers, slowly going limp against Oma's hands and just quietly hoping for... something. Maybe... less pain. Head slowly lowering, he tugs his head away from Oma and just hunches into himself, suddenly regretting his request. He's back to wanting Oma to please go away. 

 

"Alright, my beautiful." Oma whispers, then wraps his arms gently around Dominus, pressing a light kiss to the back of the kirin's head. He doesn't entirely understand the appeal of kissing, especially among beings who can easily transfer germs between themselves, but it does work as a nice display of affection. Humming softly, he kisses very gently along Dominus' jawline, then smiles when he feels Dominus' bound hands grabbing lightly at him. It doesn't seem entirely intentional, but- aw. Smiling very softly, he reaches down with one set of hands, gently taking Dominus' and just squeezing gently as he lets his other pair of hands wander gently over the tembling being's front. "My beautiful Dominus... I wish you understood how I see you. Such a handsome being." he whispers, running one hand up to gently stroke Dominus' antlers. He knows Dominus is rather proud of his antlers, and rightfully so. Maybe he can... use that to his advantage. "You have such lovely antlers. These are gorgeous... and so sharp. And very durable- I bet you could rip a tree out of the ground with these. So strong. And- so powerful." the shade croons, running a hand gently down Dominus' spine to feel the kirin shudder. "My powerful Dominus. You're so strong... I'm sure you can understand my liking that, mmm?" the shade croons, then nuzzles up against Dominus and runs a hand gently down the kirin's front. "Nice broad ribcage, too." 

 

 

Oma spends quite a while, probably at least an hour, trying to soothe Dominus. It... works. Somewhat. Dominus never stops shaking, but somewhere around  _"you are absolutely gorgeous,"_ his shaking goes from just a panting shudder to a familiar sort of shaking that's concentrated in his shoulders. When his tail finally slips free of the silks and wraps tightly around his frame, Oma pauses, gently reaching up to rub the bridge of the kirin's muzzle. That storm of pain is gone, but... he isn't entirely certain what Dominus is feeling. His partner has somehow balled his emotions up and hidden them, and it doesn't help that he doesn't even seem to understand his own emotions yet. He's just shaking, leaning into Oma's hands, and trying to listen to the things Oma is saying. He still isn't sure if he believes them, but- but he's- 

He's really not sure. 

 

"Dominus... do you want to stop?" Oma whispers, very gently caressing the trembling kirin's jawline and reaching for the silk at the same time. "I can't feel what you're thinking, and I'm fairly sure you're as close as you can get to crying. I'm not going to leave, I promise, but... do you want to just go to bed and sleep for awhile?" he croons, his voice as soft as he can manage as he caresses Dominus' skull. "Does that sound good to you?" he whispers, then very gently slips two fingers under the silk around Dominus' arms, gradually working the knots loose. When a tiny nod is offered, he hums softly and slips the knot off, very gently taking Dominus' hands in his and inspecting them. "Good... doesn't look like you wrenched anything loose. Oh, wait- hang on. One of the little bones in your wrist is a bit out of place. Just let me fix it- there. You're okay. Now... I'm going to untie the silk around your muzzle, okay? Here, just- ease your head down. Slowly... does your neck hurt? No? That's good, Dominus. Good. Just relax... you're okay." he croons, easing the silk away from Dominus' muzzle. "Open your mouth for me?" 

Once Dominus is loose, Oma stands up and gently pulls his partner up with him, leading Dominus over to their bed. He's... starting to get a bit concerned, really. Dominus is answering direct questions, but nothing else, and he seems... numb. Numb is probably better than furious and hurting, but... it's not good. He's worried.  _Did I do something wrong? Did I- hurt him? No, I can't have hurt him, he's fine, but- did I- did I just-_

_I did something wrong. And he's not going to tell me, and I doubt he'd even know, so I- I need to- need to find out. I'll just get him to sleep and then try to do some research._

 

Dominus doesn't protest being picked up and set down on the bed. He just sits perfectly still for a moment, then edges over and leans on Oma, his hands still up behind his back despite the lack of anything binding them. Shivering, he shoves his head into the crook of Oma's neck, and he doesn't move again until he falls asleep. When he does, his tail wraps tightly around Oma and his hands slowly come out from behind his back so that he can grab onto the shade's frame.

And he doesn't let go again all night. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know that feeling after you spend some time crying where you just kinda don't have any feelings left and everything is all "meh. Yeah, okay, I'm good"? That's Dominus right now. He ran out of feels.  
> He's okay. Oma made a bad choice, absolutely, but Dominus is okay. Fortunately, Oma didn't hit any trigger points or do anything unpleasant. Bad choice, but not one that ended too badly. 
> 
> When I refer to Dominus' voice, I mean the mental communication he's using to talk to Oma. He's not physically capable of making any sounds more complicated than just growls and rumbles and maybe a rusty purr or two. Almost literally rusty- he sounds like his voicebox has bone rust.

When Dominus wakes up, he's... tired. Very tired. Dim sparks flicker to life in his eye sockets and he stares around for a moment, then shoves himself a bit further against Oma, trying to process the sudden wave of distress. Why is he upset, again? What happened to- oh. It's not him that's upset. Something's wrong with Oma, and... he's not sure what. Giving a concerned little noise, Dominus rolls his head around until he's more or less looking up at Oma, then blinks and thrums in the back of his throat in a gesture of worry. Something is definitely wrong. 

 

Oma is tucked up into a little ball, staring down at the closed laptop in front of him. He's done some research, and he... oh dear. "I messed up." he whispers, then slowly puts a hand on the side of Dominus' head, looking down at the kirin with about the most concerned expression ever. "Dominus, are you... are you okay? How are you feeling?"  _did I- oh no._

 

He's... not sure. Dominus blinks a couple of times, stretching leisurely, then wraps himself around Oma and shoves his head into the shade's side to think. He's... really not sure how he feels.  _"Tired. Hungry. Really not sure."_ he quietly declares, blinking up at Oma and trying to process what he's feeling. It's... not even something he can manage to shove over their link. He doesn't know what to do with this in the slightest. He can feel Oma's distress, though, and that- that needs to stop. Raising a hand, he firmly covers Oma's mouth before the shade can say anything else, then yawns widely before relaxing again.  _"Stop that. Not helping. Go... get some food. Need to think. Tell you when I figure this out."_ he decides, then gently pushes Oma away with one hoof, trying to distract the shade from that sudden alarm. He hates seeing Oma upset. Besides...  _"I... am fairly certain that I am not feeling **bad.** Very uncertain, but... not... not bad." _

 

Okay. Okay, he- he can do that. Dominus needs to eat, and- and that is something he can do to help. Oma shivers, then hops off the bed and immediately heads for the kitchen, hugging himself tightly in a futile attempt to calm himself. 

A little while later, he's back, and when he jumps onto the bed again he's holding a towel and carrying a platter with some food. He didn't want to take the time to make anything, and Dominus really isn't fussy, so he's just grabbed leftovers- some chicken strips and part of a rack of ribs. Putting the towel down to keep the covers clean, he slowly offers the platter to Dominus, then immediately scoots backwards and curls into a tiny ball of guilt again. 

 

Dominus doesn't want to move very much, and he doesn't really care about whether or not he uses his hands to eat- his kind don't care. Rumbling softly to himself, he nabs one of the chicken strips, then pushes himself closer to the platter and starts eating in earnest. He's quite hungry, now that he thinks about it, and he's going to need energy to figure out what the Hell he's feeling right now. Mostly because Oma seems like he's going to have a panic attack if Dominus can't come up with a good answer. 

Once he's eaten the chicken and stripped most of the ribs clean, Dominus squirms his way over to Oma, really just not feeling like he wants to move very much. Leaning his head on Oma, he chews absentmindedly on one of the ribs, then blinks and hums softly.  _"You... wanted an answer. I am not entirely certain that I have one. But... I can tell you that I am exhausted. Unsurprisingly. I am also... rather confused. I did not expect to enjoy... being restrained. But I... did. I think. I definitely enjoyed having something to fight other than myself... thank you for that. And I..."_ pausing, he licks his lips, then glances away from Oma and looks down.  _"I enjoyed... the things you were saying. And the tone. I... think I enjoyed... fighting someone that I was seeing as... as dominant. I... liked it. I am still... undecided, honestly. But... I would not be averse to a possible repeat, though I would... much rather be in a better state of mind."_

"Well, I'm- I'm glad you're okay, b-but I- I really shouldn't have- Dominus, I- I shouldn't have done that. That was  _wrong_ of me, very wrong, so very wrong, and-" Oma whimpers softly, then shakes his head, tucking himself even further into his ball of shame and whining softly. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry- I had no right to- I just- t-that was coercion at the very best, and it- I- I'm so  _sorry,_ I let my instinct get the best of me and I forced you into something you couldn't consent to and I'm  _sorry-"_ he whispers, actually leaning away from Dominus in his shame. He doesn't want to, he wants to crawl over and hug Dominus and try to fix how very badly he messed up but he can't because he- he did something  _wrong,_ so very wrong. He- he could have- 

 

 _"Stop that."_ Dominus orders, then wriggles over and shoves his head into Oma until he gets the shade's legs pried away from the rest of him. Growling softly, he nuzzles against Oma for a moment, then squirms further into his partner's lap and drapes himself there so that Oma can't curl back into a ball.  _"Stop panicking and tell me what has you so upset, my dear. I am fine. I am rather confused and very tired, but I am not hurt or frightened or in any way injured. I am perfectly fine. Did I... upset you?"_

 

"No, not you, I-" Oma whimpers, then goes still, staring down at Dominus. "You were in absolutely no shape to consent. You were upset and hurting and in no shape to consent and I didn't try to calm you down or discuss anything or see if it was  _okay,_ I just told you to say no, and you never say  _no_ when you feel like that you just kick me and if I get anywhere near you then you just shiver and you never say  _no_ and you- you didn't  _consent_ you just didn't refuse and  _that's not the same thing-"_ he whines, now very close to sobbing in distress. "Dominus, that- that was just- I could have- I didn't-" 

 

Dominus doesn't feel like raising a hand, so he just twists his head and pokes his antlers into a spot on Oma's stomach that he knows is ticklish. it doesn't make the shade laugh (which is a shame, that's honestly a lot of fun), but it does shut his partner up.  _"You helped. You tried to help, and you helped. And, if I had said no, you would have stopped. I did not say no, which is why you didn't stop. And you didn't do anything extreme, Oma. You... gave me something on which to expend my anger, then told me I was... told me I was something good. I... think I would have preferred to negotiate, yes, but you... you did nothing bad to me. I am not angry. I am not upset. I am not afraid. I am not traumatized. Can you... not feel that for yourself?"_

 

"No, you're- emotionally exhausted, I think, you're just- just all curled up. Mentally, I mean. Can't feel you. And I- I k-know you don't hurt right now, but- but when that exhaustion wears off then- then you're going to- you're going to  _notice_ and-" Oma stopped abruptly at another shove to his stomach, then closed his eyes and just whimpered, trying to calm down. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so  _sorry-_ w-what can I do?" 

 

 _"First, stop panicking. Whether or not you did something wrong, the negative consequences are not enough to warrant this much distress. Maybe I will be slightly less fine when I am less tired, but I am not about to start screaming. I am fine, and I do not think that will change too badly. Please try to calm down. And... go and get that ribbon, please."_ Dominus resquests softly, his voice still soft and really just not upset. Maybe he'll be a bit more upset when he actually has enough emotion to be upset, but... he's not going to be that mad. Whatever has Oma this upset, he was doing what he thought was right at the time, and it worked. 

When the silk is brought to him, Dominus gathers up a couple of coils and just inspects them for a moment, then nuzzles his face into them. He still has a bit of sensation in his face, thanks to the magic that's keeping his other senses working, and... hmm. Soft. Giving a soft, pleased little noise, Dominus snuggles into the silk for a moment, then sighs when he can still feel Oma's distress.  _"Now come over here and sit down. You are not about to hurt me by petting me. If this is what you need, I am now giving my consent for you to touch me as much as you would like. And, Oma... there is no such thing as non-sexual sexual assault. Please stop thinking of what you just did as if you raped me. Please don't do that. You are comparing my dear Oma to some of the worst people imaginable and I will not stand for that. Am I making myself clear? And I do not require a verbal response, but I will accept confirmation in the form of you ceasing to behave like your touch is poison."_

Hm. Apparently he's feeling good enough to joke slightly. 

 

"Okay." Oma whispers, then edges a bit closer, slowly tucking himself up next to Dominus and putting a hand on his partner's head. "I... okay, maybe I... might have been... overreacting just... just a bit. But I- I shouldn't have- Dominus, it's not about the sexual component, since there doesn't happen to  _be_ one right now. That's not the  _problem._ The problem is, t-this sort of thing is an exchange of power, right? Or- of control, really. Not entirely, of course, you  _always_ have control over whether or not something happens- you can always say stop. It's just... you were not in a position where you were fully able to assess your own feelings and decide if you wanted to stop. I... took control from you. That was not mine to take. I did not have any right to take the reins, but I did. I did not try to negotiate, I did not try to ask if there was anything I should avoid or anything you wanted, I did not try to ask how you  _felt_ about what I was doing, I just- the only thing I did is tell you that you could say stop, but you were not in a position where that was likely to  _happen_ and I don't know why you aren't upset because at the absolute least that's some sort of coercion or  _something_ bad-" 

 

 _"Oma, stop. You HELPED. I understand that we should probably have negotiated. I understand. But that was not an option then. I was in no state to negotiate. If you had tried, I would probably have ignored you, and... I would likely have spent the next few days in a very bad mood. I do not like that feeling. I absolutely despise that feeling. Morally objectionable or not, you helped me. You want me to be upset, then fine. You did not think clearly, and you did not make a good decision. That was not good of you. But you helped me to feel better, and that was absolutely good of you. I am not upset because... I know you are not prone to being an exceptionally logical being when others are in pain. You are highly emotional. I understand that, and I expect it from you. You made an emotional decision rather than a logical one. That is not good, but it is okay. What you did was not bad. It was not good, but it was not a bad thing. Unwise, yes. Ill-advised, yes. But not bad. Now... I am going to do something. This is nonnegotiable, mostly because it is not- mm- 'scene' is the word, correct? This is not a scene. I would like to see how you look bound in this, and I think a moment of stillness might help to calm you. So- sit. I am going to bind you, loosely, and I am going to look at you for a moment. I intend to blindfold you. I know you are in no mood to say no, but... I am ordering you, right now, to say no if you do not enjoy what I am doing. I doubt that you will do that, so... I will make this brief, and I will not touch you. I am also not going to leave."_ Dominus declares, his voice soft but firm as he slowly sits up. Picking up the silk, he inspects it for just a moment, then slowly wraps it around Oma's head a couple of times to cover the shade's eyes. He's not about to stuff the silk into Oma's mouth like the shade did for him- shapeshifter or not, Oma would not find that comfortable. Dominus didn't mind, but Oma might, and he's not about to take that risk.

He then gently positions Oma's hands behind his back, wrapping the silk loosely around them and tying it. A quick wrap around Oma's stomach to keep his hands still (though there's no way Dominus could actually tie Oma up, the shifter can become as insubstantial as smoke and would just slip right back out), and then Dominus backs up slightly, surveying the shade. 

 

Oma licks his lips in a nervous gesture he's picked up from humans, then manages a tiny smile, trying to stay calm. "H-how do I look?" he whispers, visibly starting to calm down- probably from the blindfold over his eyes. He can't see, and it... helps. He's... a bit calmer now. He's bound and starting to feel better. Hmm, this... is actually nice. Some part of him idly considers it for a moment, then he slowly leans towards Dominus, hoping for a bit of contact. 

 

 _"You look... tempting. I am not going to act on that temptation, though. I'll just... remember this for later."_ Dominus whispers, then (taking his time) slowly unbinds Oma. When he removes his blindfold, much to his satisfaction, Oma no longer has panic in his eyes.  _"There. Hm... are you a bird, my dear? You calm when I cover your eyes. I'll remember this. Now... you are upset because we did not negotiate. I understand that. So... let us negotiate. Arguably, I am in the best shape possible to negotiate, since I am... not currently feeling any particularly strong emotions. Or any emotions, honestly."_

 

"I'm... not a bird, no." Oma chuckles, seeming just a bit calmer, then nods slightly and slowly leans on Dominus. "Yes. I- yes. We should negotiate. I... think it's safe to assume that we will find ourselves in a similar situation at some point in the future. So... if that happens again, what should I do? What do you want?" 

 

Dominus gently wraps his arms around Oma, pulling the shade firmly into his lap and resting his chin on his partner's head. He doesn't speak for a moment, and when he does, it's very soft.  _"I... I want to stop... hurting. That is... probably a safe bet. And... when you gave me something to fight, it... helped. A lot. So I would appreciate it if you would... do that again. And then... the same. Tell me... tell me that I am not disgusting. Do your best to make me feel good. Because it... it helps. In fact, just... do what you did before. You have my consent now, Oma. It's okay."_ he croons, then narrows his eyes slightly, sensing Oma's continued distress.  _"Oma. You have my consent, and my permission. What you did was effective. I see no reason to change that. Your method worked, so... use it again. You have my consent now."_

 

"I- but I don't- Dominus, I- I shouldn't have-" Oma whimpers, then sighs, leaning up against Dominus and looking up at him. "You're... just going to keep telling me that it's okay, aren't you? You're- you're doing this again. You get to the point where you're desperate for anything that'll make you feel better... are you sure you want this? Because I can find another way to make you feel better, I can, I-" 

 

 _"No you can't. Oma, dear, you've tried. You've been trying for awhile. And you found something, didn't you? It doesn't matter whether or not you should have asked, you found something that worked. So... I want you to use it again."_ Dominus whispers, then, remembering Oma's earlier words, very gently nuzzles against the shade's head and hums.  _"I am giving you that power. Understand? I am giving you the reins. Just... do what you did before. It doesn't have to be exact, just don't try anything new. What do you say?"_ he croons, then sighs, still able to feel concern from his partner.  _"Oma, if you are not comfortable with this, then- then find another way. Return to your usual attempts if you find those to be... less morally objectionable. I am not going to force you into something you are uncomfortable with... I know how it hurts you to be near me when I am upset. Just... don't."_ he sighs, though he really just hates the idea. Oma is the only comfort he can get, he... doesn't want to give that up. But he'd rather give it up than have Oma suffer. Oma is... precious. Sweet and innocent and always trying to help even when it causes him pain. 

 

"No, I- I'm not going to  _leave,_ I just- a-are you-" Oma whispers, then pauses, looking up at Dominus.

_Hang on. He... told me to leave him alone. That's... exactly the opposite of what he'd do if he just wanted comfort. I don't know how genuine it was, but he said it... which means he's... he's definitely able to decide right now. And he's decided that he... he wants me to... well, it... did seem like it was working._

"You look very sure. And, I guess it... does make sense. Proven method. Proven methods are good. So... how about this. If something happens to upset you, I'll... go get that silk, and I'll show it to you. If you really want me to stop, you tell me to stop. If not, just... keep doing whatever you're doing. Although, I'd like to ask that you don't kick my stomach too much... it's really just not pleasant. You can kick my chest if you like, that's fine, doesn't hurt, but my stomach is a bit softer. Alright?"

 

 _"Of course, dear."_ Dominus croons, doing his best to disguise his utter relief at having convinced Oma. His alternatives are not pleasant.  _"I am telling you now, I have absolutely no objections to that. I like the idea. Now... I think I would like to change the topic. We can revisit this later when my emotions come back, hmm? For now, let's discuss something nicer. Maybe... ah, I know. What would you like to try next? Maybe... try something like that again, in a more level-headed situation? Or... something else?"_

 

Oma considers it for a moment, then licks his lips and nods, slowly reaching up to touch the side of Dominus' head. "I was thinking... candles? Here, I-I'll show you." he offers, pulling his laptop over and flipping it open to pull up a couple of pages on what he has in mind. "See? Like this. I m-mean, there's no risk of burning you, and I... t-think I'd like to try dripping it on your skull to see how it looks. It... I think it'll look nice, and you might like the feeling. I'd... I'd like to, maybe, tie your hands behind your back while I'm doing it? Loosely, of course, but... I-I'd like to try. Is that... something you might be open to?" he whispers, leaning back and looking up at Dominus. "It's... it's your choice. I don't want to make you uncomfortable." 

 

 _"Nothing with a strong scent, but... other than that, I have no objections. It does look like it might be pleasant. I think I would enjoy it, especially since it would involve something pleasurable for you. We should try that. And... anything else you'd like? Maybe, hmm... didn't you have an idea involving yourself and chocolate syrup earlier?"_ he asks, then chuckles when Oma nods slightly and hides his face.  _"Really nothing to be ashamed of. I think I would enjoy that, as well... you are offering me sweet things and an opportunity to make you feel good. We should absolutely try that. With... hm, honey? And chocolate? We can make you taste very good."_

 

"Okay, t-thank you. We can- can try that- later, I suppose. And, um... is there anything you might... like? Anything you've been wanting to try, maybe? I'm... I'm probably willing, but we should still... discuss it. Just... just to be sure." Oma whispers, then turns around and meets Dominus' eyes, trying to look earnest and hide his remaining guilt. "You, ah... you said you liked that- that tone, so... would you... like to try a more extended session involving me... uh..." pausing, he glances away for a second, then meets Dominus' eyes again. "Do you... want to..." 

 

Okay, he has a pretty good idea of what Oma is getting at. He... doesn't want to admit it, though. Not entirely. He'd really rather not say that he wants to be... be given orders. Because he can't think of any way to say it, except for just saying it, and he- some part of him really doesn't like the idea of admitting it, but... but Oma is no doubt going to get quite upset if they don't negotiate something before trying it. So, he's going to... well, first he's going to turn Oma around so he can rest his chin on Oma's head and not have the shade looking at him.  _"I... liked that tone, and I... like it when you... told me what to do. I would also... like to explore the idea of... not immediately obeying those orders. I... liked being... made to obey."_ he admits, his voice very soft. He's... not sure about this. Well, he likes the idea, it's just that it feels  _very_ strange to actually say that he'd like to be... dominated. Although... that is the purpose of this sort of play, is it not? And no one is going to know. What remains of his authority is still perfectly intact. 

 

"I can- I can do that. Absolutely. We do need to have some sort of boundary, though... especially if you want to play with disobedience. We could... hm. Maybe... if you're just playing, you refuse nonverbally? Pull back, growl at me, that sort of thing. If you actually don't want to do whatever I've just told you to do -and I promise I will do my best to avoid anything like that- then you can just... tell me. And... if you get past the point where you can say stop, I'll... I'll stop things. Or- maybe not stop instantly, I know you wouldn't like that, but I'll stick with just petting until you get calmed down. Does that sound... good? Anything you want to add?" Oma croons, slowly lowering a hand and taking one of Dominus'. 

 

 _"That sounds... good. I trust you, and... in all honesty, I believe I could make you stop if I really wanted to. You are quite stubborn, but you are not stronger than me."_ Dominus asserts, tail wrapping tightly around Oma and hugging him close.  _"Are you comfortable with this, Oma? I know I am... placing a lot of responsibility on you. You are usually very good at handling responsibility, but... if this is not something that you will enjoy, I do not wish to continue. I wish to cause you pleasure, my dear... nothing else."_ he croons, smiling (internally) as he feels Oma finally start to relax.  _"There now. We've negotiated future acts, we've come up with a few things to try that sound_ ** _very_** _nice, and I am still not in distress. I'm not sure if you can tell yet, but I am not upset. Here-"_

 

As usual, Oma gladly allows himself to be moved around. He blinks slightly in surprise as his forehead is pressed to Dominus', then he relaxes against the kirin's frame, smiling softly as he registers that there are still no negative emotions here. A mild bit of embarrassment, probably thanks to what sounded like a somewhat grudging admission of desire, but nothing else. Maybe a bit of concern, probably for him. And... hmm. "Dominus, you're feeling... very mellow. And I don't think it's just exhaustion, I think you're mostly just... in a pretty good mindset right now. And I... oh, I can't say how  _glad_ I am, Dominus. I... really messed up, honestly. I know- I know you aren't angry, a-and I'm starting to believe you when you say that you're okay, but I still shouldn't have done that, and I am so very sorry. I am also so very glad that I didn't hurt you..." 

 

Oma is still on this, then? Well, that's unsurprising, but... he needs to fix it. Oma didn't mess up badly enough for him to be torturing himself about it. Firmly gripping the sides of Oma's head, Dominus meets his eyes, speaking softly but firmly.  _"Oma. Stop that. Yes, you messed up. You did something that was not a wonderful thing to do. But you did it because you were trying to help me, and you **did** help me. You tried your best, and it worked. You did nothing malicious or intentionally harmful. You have been very upset for awhile now, and I know what that does to you... I think you've been punished enough for what you did wrong. Or-" _ Dominus mutters, raising his hand and lightly swatting the side of Oma's head in really more of a scolding gesture than anything else- it's not strong enough to hurt.  _"There. You have been punished. Now please try to calm down, Oma... please. I am not angry. I promise. I am not angry. I am not hurt or injured or upset. I am fine, you are upsetting yourself more than you need to. I do not like having you upset. You being this upset is bothering me more than what you are upset **about,** Oma." _

Pausing, he shoves his head affectionately into the crook of Oma's neck, then croons gently to him and just nuzzles him for a moment.  _"Thank you for your care, my dear, but... I would like you to relax now. Can you do that for me?"_

 

"I- yeah. Just- uh- here. Stretch out. Give me something to do other than be upset." Oma whispers, scooting out of Dominus' lap and moving over to press on his back. "Lie down on your front, let me- let me give you a bit of a massage." he coaxes, then smiles when Dominus stretches out in front of him. "Thank you. Now, just- let me- let me make you feel good. Try to relax." the shade croons, very gently digging his fingertips around the edges of Dominus' shoulder blades for a moment. "And let me know if there's something you'd like, or- or something you aren't a huge fan of." 

 

He is not likely to refuse. Dominus groans softly, very softly, then rumbles in the back of his throat and stretches out even more. Oma is straddling his lower back, kneading at his shoulders and spine, and ohhh that feels good. It feels very, very good. And, even better, he can feel Oma starting to relax a bit more. Oma calms when offered a way to help other people, and this is obviously doing the trick. With the added bonus of feeling damned good, which is nice. Oh,  _very_ nice. 

 

_I think he's okay._

_I think I didn't hurt him._

_He's happy. I can feel it. He's relaxed, he likes this, he's not numb any more but he isn't upset... he's just very mellow. He's very relaxed. It's... good._

_We're good. We're okay. Everything's good._

_He's purring and I love this and we're okay and I found a way to help him-_

Oma flops down along Dominus' back and hugs him, then giggles slightly when the kirin huffs in surprise. "Sorry, 'm just happy I didn't hurt you." he whispers, reaching to stroke gently along Dominus' lower jaw. "And we- I- I think I'd like to try something again, soon... maybe tonight? No- no power exchange, though, at least not something extreme. I think I can get some candles today, so- maybe a bit of wax play?" the shade offers, then smiles when Dominus nods slightly. "I... won't ask for your submission. I would like your cooperation, though... would you be willing to kneel or sit and maybe let me wrap the silk around you? Just- just sort of a decorative thing, not actually with any knots or restraints or anything. Would... would that be okay?" 

 

 _"Absolutely."_  Dominus hums, then rolls over, pinning Oma gently beneath himself and then flipping over so that he's sprawled on top of his partner. Humming softly, he bites affectionately at the back of Oma's neck, then goes still and just relaxes.  _"For now, I am going to stay here. Let me know when you need to get up, but... I do not think I will be doing much today. I would much rather relax."_

 

_I didn't hurt him._

_He's okay._

Oma relaxes, finally, closing his eyes and letting himself become just a bit less insubstantial. This means that Dominus sinks into his frame just a tiny bit, which is probably quite comfortable for the kirin... and it feels very good for Oma, because he can feel his partner nuzzling into him and pressed against him and Dominus is  _happy_ and everything is okay now. He made a mistake, but everything is okay. 

They're okay.

Maybe... a bit better than okay, even, because Dominus is purring and relaxed and  _calm_ and actually making jokes (albeit his usual dry ones) and  _this is good._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks to http://everythingyouthinkyouknowisalie.tumblr.com/ for helping me figure this chapter out!
> 
> Oma is suggesting that they try something soon because he wants to do better this time. He's trying to fix his mistake by doing things right. Really, though, it may not be the best choice to try again so soon. A bit more of a wait might be a decent idea. Oma, however, is unaware of that fact and eager to make things better.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I know Oma messed up. Good intentions, bad method.


End file.
